Relationships are difficult. How we balance two or more people’s needs so that everyone gets enough of what they want most of the time is invariably a tricky business. Sometimes this game of compromise will break down completely and we are left with conflict, hurt feelings or – ultimately –…
In counselling and psychotherapy, we have the opportunity to ‘tell our story’ to someone who is able to hear it; someone who can help us think about it in new ways and support us while we are doing so. But what about outside the consulting room? What else can we do…
In 1968, Stephen Karpman first referred to the Drama Triangle model as a means of describing and analysing human interaction. Karpman’s ideas often prove useful in helping us identify the roles we ourselves play when stuck in unhelpful repeating patterns of communication with others – and how to step out of those roles.
Authenticity is a term that is often bandied around by counsellors and psychotherapists as something worth having. But just what does it mean in the context of counselling and psychotherapy and what are the implications of trying to get it? For me, authenticity involves being true to one’s own beliefs,…
I’m a bit of a Grinch when it comes to positive thinking. When we are sad I don’t think it is helpful to feel like we always have to put a brave face on things.
I’ve realised that I’ve been avoiding writing an article about avoiding conflict. I mentioned writing about this subject months ago (see my post of 1st February 2013 – ‘Conflict, Part 1 – Winning At All Costs’) but somehow haven’t got around to actually sitting down and doing it. I wonder why…
It can be hard to ask for help and particularly so if you are someone who has become used to dealing with your own difficulties alone. You may be making the assumption that asking for help is somehow a sign of weakness and that by allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front…
For individuals, working with a counsellor or psychotherapist for the longer term – 12 months or more – can feel very different to a short burst of counselling sessions that help us get through a crisis of some sort. When we have had the time to tell our story (what…
Ever thought to yourself as you argue with your partner – “here we go again, same old, same old”? Perhaps you’ve got stuck in a downward spiral of hurt, blame, anger and frustration. And then it will be all right for a while until the whole thing starts up again.…
If, as children, we felt repeatedly hurt, humiliated, abandoned, suffocated or ignored by someone close to us and on whom we depended for survival (usually a parent), we might have made the perfectly logical decision – at least from a four-year-old’s point of view – to keep other people at bay.
