Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, is a hot topic right now. If we have a diagnosis (or have read a description of ADHD that resonates) it can be a relief to finally get some sort of acknowledgement of the behavioural traits that might have been puzzling us for years.
Common Symptoms of ADHD
In my experience, ADHD can manifest in a number of ways and everybody affected by it will respond somewhat differently. How we feel about ourselves is frequently at the root of how we might behave in certain situations and especially in relation to other people. Common symptoms of ADHD include:
- difficulty saying ‘no’
- being impulsive
- restlessness
- working excessively
- being easily bored
- struggling to maintain relationships, especially with a partner
- experiencing emotional highs and lows
- finding it hard to concentrate for any length of time.
Many of us will experience such symptoms at various stages in our life – especially at times of change or upheaval – but if most or some of these behaviours (and this list is not exhaustive) have been a constant companion for as long as we can remember it is possible that ADHD is the cause.
Understanding ADHD
Counselling and psychotherapy involves making sense of how we, as an individual, approach the world and exploring whether there might be different ways of behaving that would serve us better. ADHD is assumed to have its roots in how we learned to attach to the people taking care of us as children: especially in terms of to what extent we felt accepted for who we are, as opposed to what we might achieve. This is not to say that anyone is necessarily to blame. More, it is the good news that behaviour that has been learned can be replaced with new, updated learning. See my post ‘Attachment Theory and Relationships’ for more on the subject of attachment.
How Might Counselling And Psychotherapy Help?
If you are an adult and have (or suspect you have) a diagnosis of ADHD, counselling or psychotherapy can provide a safe space in which to understand more about how the condition might be affecting you and to explore ways of regulating your own feelings in order to build self-esteem. The Canadian physician, Gabor Maté, sums up the task of a person with ADHD as learning “how to be oneself in contact with other people.” To do this we need to be open to experimenting with new ways of behaving not all of which will work first time. With the support and encouragement of an experienced therapist, we might learn to be more comfortable with who we are and more able to build healthy, loving and boundaried relationships with other people.
Ref: ‘Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder’ (2019) by Gabor Maté
Copyright: Caroline Clarke, Private Practice Psychotherapy and Counselling in Brighton and Hove, Sussex.
Photo: Marek Studzinski on Unsplash
