Therapy For Social Anxiety

Human beings are social creatures. At some level, we all need to feel connected to other people. If we find it difficult to make lasting friendships or struggle to relax in certain social situations, we might find ourselves feeling anxious and isolated. How might therapy help?

Social Anxiety Defined

Social anxiety can manifest in a number of ways. At the extreme, we may fear all connection with other people outside of a very tight circle, whether that be at work or in our private lives. I also meet many people who tell me that they are reasonably comfortable being with others on a one-to-one basis but will avoid or become withdrawn in groups. So, we might be perfectly relaxed chatting to one friend in a social situation, but clam up or excuse ourselves if more people - and especially those we don't know very well - join in.

If we delve deeper behind our sense of social anxiety, we may find fears relating to feeling:

• embarrassed

• rejected

• ignored

• judged

• or exposed to multiple pairs of eyes.

Avoiding social situations may reduce our fears, however it can also cut us off from opportunities to make friends, find a partner, promote a career or simply to enjoy ourselves. We may also get a sense of being on the outside of the action, always peering in at people who appear to belong more than we do.

How Might Therapy Help?

Coming to therapy to talk about social anxiety can feel pretty scary. If we are meeting face-to-face, it would usually involve coming to an unfamiliar place to meet with an unknown person. Hopefully, we can feel reassured that a therapist will not judge us or dismiss our fears as trivial, but we will still need to push through a certain amount of discomfort at the beginning.

The very act of tolerating feeling somewhat exposed in therapy may be key to expanding our social world beyond its existing limitations. As we get to know our therapist, the awkwardness recedes and we feel more able to be ourselves and speak freely. The same process can happen as we gradually become more familiar navigating social situations. We may never turn into the life and soul of the party but at least we can set foot in the door and feel part of the group.

And finally, like any new situation, I know that coming to an initial therapy consultation can be anxiety-provoking whether or not we are plagued by social anxiety. This is precisely why I provide detailed instructions as to how to find my office and will come to the door in person to greet all my clients.

Caroline Clarke (MSc Psychotherapy) - therapy or counselling for social anxiety in Brighton & Hove and online.

Contact me to arrange an initial consultation in my office next to Preston Park station in Brighton & Hove or online via Zoom. You can find my current availability here.

Starling Murmuration Over Brighton Pier courtesy of Kevin C.