Relationships

Whatever our circumstances , we all need to feel that we have some control over how we are treated by others. To do this we might need to tap into our own sense of feeling powerful enough to protect ourselves from harm whilst out in the world. Some of us, however, might be unintentionally handing our power away. How might therapy help? 'Power Over' Versus 'Power Within' Power can be defined in two quite different ways. 'Power over' refers to the power or control we have over

Difficulties between mothers and adult daughters can cause much distress to both parties. Mother daughter therapy provides a safe space in which to identify what is going wrong and explore ways to either repair the relationship or come to terms with a level of emotional distance that we may not have chosen - at least in the short term. Therapy Together Joint therapy for a mother and daughter can often be helpful if you are both able to talk about old hurts, power imbalances,

No matter how hard we try to keep ourselves safe or  find out what is wrong, the distance between us and one or several family members remains.

I am often approached for help from parents experiencing conflict with their adult children. Difficulties between the generations can...

When something is going wrong in an important relationship (whether it be between a couple, parents and adult children, siblings or friends), is therapy together usually the best way to tackle the problem?  Or, would individual therapy be more beneficial?

Once a week we talk with a living breathing human being who is kind and curious.

ADHD can manifest in a number of ways and everybody affected by it will respond somewhat differently.

In my last post about conflict between parents and adult children I introduced the concept of identifying and changing the power dynamic within the relationship. When children are young, parents tend to have all or most of the power - they are in charge. As children become adults, this power dynamic will need to shift. What could possibly go wrong?!   What Is Power? Power can be defined in many different ways. I tend to think of it as the ability to make decisions for oursel

Relationships are difficult. How we balance two or more people's needs so that everyone gets enough of what they want most of the time is invariably a tricky business.

What does it mean to be empathic? How can we use this way of being with others to resolve conflict and promote understanding whilst at the same time keeping ourselves emotionally safe? If too much or not enough empathy is a problem for us, how might counselling and psychotherapy help? A Definition Of Empathy The Cambridge English dictionary defines empathy as follows: 'the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in th

At various times in our lives we will be faced with deciding how best to support family, friends, colleagues - and sometimes strangers - who are in distress.

Many couples struggle to find a way to communicate effectively . Without a solid platform from which to discuss tricky subjects safely and productively we may flounder around feeling unhappy, angry and stuck. There might be rows, silences and slammed doors but no matter how much energy is expended nothing changes; the difficulties within the relationship stay the same. How might counselling and psychotherapy help? Feeling The Pressure Communication difficulties often arise -

Could black and white thinking be hindering you from making friends, forging a career or finding a life partner? Many of us can get stuck in an old pattern of behaviour where a relationship or situation is seen as either all good or all bad and something that starts well may quickly end in hurt, upset and withdrawal. How might psychotherapy and counselling help? Black And White Thinking Defined Black and white thinking describes a simplistic and rigid way of experiencing th

How we deal with loss is fundamental to our mental and emotional well-being.

Many of us struggle to find the right balance of assertiveness in relationship with a partner, family members, friends or at work. Something is getting in the way of being able to firmly state our own needs, negotiate with others and reach a compromise that is satisfactory for all.

In our efforts to connect to someone are we inadvertently pushing them away?

We all have times in our lives when we are lonely . Feeling cut off from the support and companionship of others can be a huge source of...

As human beings we all have needs and wants (for love, attention and so on) and have likely worked out a strategy for the best way to have these needs met. Sometimes, a strategy that worked tolerably well in the past begins to work against us and we are left bewildered as to why people close to us stop meeting our needs, become irritable and/or leave. How might therapy help? Not Taking 'No' For An Answer A common strategy for getting our needs met is persistence. We ask oth

Did you grow up in a household where one of the rules was to accept the word of those in authority without question? People who have difficulty asserting themselves in adulthood have often had this experience and it can lead to serious consequences for the way they approach life and relate to others. How might therapy help? The Double Bind One of the problems of receiving a 'do not question!' message in childhood from a person in authority - particularly a parent on whom we

A recurring theme when working with communication difficulties is how to find common ground when one person approaches life's challenges in a very logical, thinking way and the other is much more inclined to focus on relationships and feelings. How might counselling or psychotherapy help? Pros and Cons of the Logical Mind It is not difficult to imagine the benefits of an ability to think logically, decisively and calmly in a range of different circumstances. With an emotion