All Posts

Avoiding social situations may reduce our fears, however it can also cut us off from opportunities to make friends, find a partner, promote a career or enjoy ourselves.

Repetitive negative self-talk re past actions that have caused us acute embarrassment or hurt the feelings of others can have a major detrimental impact on both our mental and physical health. We might torture ourselves and feel ashamed of who we are and how we behaved long after such events are over. How might psychotherapy and counselling help? Patterns of Rumination Lying in bed at night we turn over and over in our minds how we might have irreparably upset someone who ma

'My friends wouldn't understand!' is a phrase I often hear when working with people who are estranged from a parent, adult child or other family member. And these fears may be very real; there continues to be stigma attached to both those of us who have removed ourselves from our family and those of us who have been rejected by them. How might therapy help? Blood Is Thicker Than Water? There seems to be an expectation in our society that families should get along and if for

How do we challenge someone who habitually blocks all challenge? Maybe we try to tell our partner (or someone important to us) that an aspect of their behaviour is becoming a problem and are met with dismissal or angry accusations that we are being critical and aggressive. How might we go about breaking such a stalemate? Understanding The Defensive Position When we find ourselves in a difficult place it is not always easy to respond to challenge from another person (especiall

Weekly therapy with a suitably qualified and experienced therapist for at least two years is a course requirement for the majority of students studying to become qualified counsellors or psychotherapists in the UK. This involves a major commitment in terms of both time and money. As a trainee counsellor or psychotherapist, what can you expect working with me? What Happens In Therapy People generally come to therapy when something in their lives is going wrong and they want

Whatever our circumstances , we all need to feel that we have some control over how we are treated by others. To do this we might need to tap into our own sense of feeling powerful enough to protect ourselves from harm whilst out in the world. Some of us, however, might be unintentionally handing our power away. How might therapy help? 'Power Over' Versus 'Power Within' Power can be defined in two quite different ways. 'Power over' refers to the power or control we have over

Difficulties between mothers and adult daughters can cause much distress to both parties. Mother daughter therapy provides a safe space in which to identify what is going wrong and explore ways to either repair the relationship or come to terms with a level of emotional distance that we may not have chosen - at least in the short term. Therapy Together Joint therapy for a mother and daughter can often be helpful if you are both able to talk about old hurts, power imbalances,

Long periods of frequent or severe anxiety can be both exhausting and debilitating. Excessive fear and worry uses up our precious - and finite - emotional resources, leaving us with less time and energy for other areas of our lives and for the people we love and care about. What can be done? Lessons From Therapy I have been working in Brighton as a psychotherapist with people suffering from problematic anxiety since 2011. Although every person's experience of tackling overwh

Compulsive behaviour is often a strategy we have found to manage anxiety

We all know that we are born, that we live - and then we die.  Mostly, we manage to deal with the fact that we are mortal and get on with...

No matter how hard we try to keep ourselves safe or  find out what is wrong, the distance between us and one or several family members remains.

I am often approached for help from parents experiencing conflict with their adult children. Difficulties between the generations can arise at any time. However, one of the most significant pinch points seems to be when young people are - or could be - breaking away from their first family and going out into the adult world of independence and personal responsibility. How might psychotherapy or counselling help? Tasks For Young Adults Learning to stand on our own two feet

When something is going wrong in an important relationship (whether it be between a couple, parents and adult children, siblings or friends), is therapy together usually the best way to tackle the problem?  Or, would individual therapy be more beneficial?

Once a week we talk with a living breathing human being who is kind and curious.

ADHD can manifest in a number of ways and everybody affected by it will respond somewhat differently.

In my last post about conflict between parents and adult children I introduced the concept of identifying and changing the power dynamic within the relationship. When children are young, parents tend to have all or most of the power - they are in charge. As children become adults, this power dynamic will need to shift. What could possibly go wrong?!   What Is Power? Power can be defined in many different ways. I tend to think of it as the ability to make decisions for ourse

Making major life changes without an outside impetus is much harder than when external circumstances leave us with no choice.

Relationships are difficult. How we balance two or more people's needs so that everyone gets enough of what they want most of the time is invariably a tricky business.

Despite assurances from the medical profession that there is nothing seriously wrong, we find ourselves stuck in a loop of hyper-awareness and fear.

What does it mean to be empathic? How can we use this way of being with others to resolve conflict and promote understanding whilst at the same time keeping ourselves emotionally safe? If too much or not enough empathy is a problem for us, how might counselling and psychotherapy help? A Definition Of Empathy The Cambridge English dictionary defines empathy as follows: 'the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in th