A recurring theme when working with communication difficulties is how to find common ground when one person approaches life’s challenges in a very logical, thinking way and the other is much more inclined to focus on relationships and feelings. How might counselling or psychotherapy help?
What happens to us when we are repeatedly ‘not heard’ by important others? From a child’s perspective, I can imagine feeling misunderstood, unseen, dismissed and – eventually – angry. In adulthood, there might then be a danger that this old anger may get in the way of us feeling heard…
“But when one does not complain, and when one wants to master oneself with a tyrant’s grip — one’s faculties rise in revolt — and one pays for outward calm with an almost unbearable inner struggle.” Letter from Charlotte Brontë to Professor Constantin Heger, 1845.
We all know that we are born, that we live – and then we die. Mostly, we manage to deal with the fact that we are mortal and get on with the business of living. However, sometimes we can become preoccupied with a fear of death or anxiety about dying…
Compulsive behaviour can range from a need to have the tins in your food cupboard lined up in a neat row with the labels all facing the same way to full blown Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In my experience, compulsive behaviour is often a strategy a person has found to…
An old friend of mine had a habit of marching into my home and making the tea whenever she came to visit. Without so much as a by-your-leave, she would rifle through my kitchen cupboards while I stood in the doorway privately fuming.
I frequently come across examples of how unprocessed feelings associated with a distressing event or circumstances are passed down through the generations causing pain and confusion long after the actual trauma is over. Often, we might be unaware that we have been (usually unwittingly) handed a negative experience of the…
Most parents go through some tough times when their children move into young adulthood. The family system is put under pressure to accommodate shifts in responsibilities and authority – and such changes, although necessary, can be painful. Usually, a new equilibrium is found that everyone can live with. Sometimes, however,…
When something is going wrong in an important relationship (whether it be between a couple, parents and adult children, siblings or friends), is counselling together usually the best way to tackle the problem? Or, would individual counselling be more beneficial?
Many of us are prompted to come to therapy for one of two reasons: when something in our lives goes seriously wrong; or feelings such as anxiety (fear), anger and sadness become overwhelming. The last thing we want is for therapy to make us feel even worse.
