The theme of mistakes often figures in the stories people bring to counselling. These might be choices we have made in the past which have left us feeling guilty or ashamed. Often, it is our response to previous mistakes that is causing us more harm than the actual mistake itself.…
We all have times in our lives when we are lonely. Feeling cut off from the support and companionship of others can be a huge source of stress. In my experience of helping people combat anxiety and depression, prolonged periods of loneliness not only contribute to poor mental health but…
As human beings we all have needs and wants (for love, attention and so on) and have likely worked out a strategy for the best way to have these needs met. Sometimes, a strategy that worked tolerably well in the past begins to work against us and we are left…
Acknowledging that our behavior has hurt someone’s feelings and taking responsibility for our own part in a situation can be a very powerful way of healing rifts, cementing relationships and preventing resentment from building up. What might we aim for when saying sorry?
We’ve all encountered people who do a lot. Or perhaps we like to be doing ourselves? People who do stuff are useful to have around as they are excellent at getting things done! However, there often comes a point when a limit is reached and doing tips into over-doing. How…
As human beings we are hard-wired to make sense of what happens to us. This is an important skill since good judgement about the world gives rise to emotional and physical safety. Sometimes, however, we might be continuing to interpret our current experiences based on skewed or narrow unconscious assumptions…
Throughout our lives we will all receive messages from other people about who we are and what we are like. Such information will have a major impact on the way we feel about ourselves. Positive messages will build our confidence whereas other, less favourable ones, might help us to regulate…
Most families have secrets of some sort. Unwelcome truths are withheld, lies might be told and the burden of information that must not be shared is carried around. Often, as a result, trust is eroded and relationships falter. The weight of keeping such secrets – or a sense that something…
Whenever I hear a person labeling someone else an ‘Attention Seeker’, there is always something in their tone of voice or manner which suggests judgement – a sneer, a rolling of the eyes, a sigh of exasperation. Apparently, to seek attention from others is not a good thing. It is,…
Did you grow up in a household where one of the rules was to accept the word of those in authority without question? People who have difficulty asserting themselves in adulthood have often had this experience and it can lead to serious consequences for the way they approach life and…
