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Pets can mean so much to us . They give us love, companionship, routine and, for example, in the case of dogs, exercise and all-weather fresh air. Often an integral part of the family, they can leave a very large hole when they die or we can no longer care for them and need to give them up. How might therapy help us process feelings of profound loss? When people come to therapy with problems associated with any form of bereavement or loss, a common theme is a belief that they

If, as children, we felt repeatedly hurt , humiliated, abandoned, suffocated or ignored by someone close to us and on whom we depended...

"Your task is not to seek for love , but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."  Rumi...

Any therapist worth their salt will have gone through or be going through many months of their own therapy. Personally, as a client, I...

Ever so often I take a look through my special “ah-ha!” lenses and see a concept that has been bothering me with completely fresh eyes....

Describing our lives and how we feel through the use of metaphor is, I believe, a powerful means of exploring and making sense of our...

I am sometimes asked by potential new clients if I am prepared to see them fortnightly rather than on my usual weekly basis. I...

You’ve met your counsellor and decided to go ahead with some sessions . He or she seems pleasant, competent and interested in what you...

So now you have a shortlist of suitable sounding counsellors and psychotherapists… What made you choose them? Do they practise close to...

Most practitioners agree that is the strength of the relationship between you and your therapist that is the best indicator for a...

I have come across numerous contradictory answers to this question. It appears that the definition of each term depends upon whom you ask. In my view, there is one fundamental difference between the two processes, together with lots of cross-over. This essential difference is sometimes tricky to grasp and even trickier to explain!   First And Second Order Change I believe that both counselling and psychotherapy are about providing a space where change can occur. Counselling

“How could you be so selfish?!” "I’m finding you aggressive right now!” "You’re jealous!” How do we respond when we are on the receiving end of negative criticism from other people? Does the way we react in these situations – either internally, i.e. what we tell ourselves, or externally, i.e. what we communicate to the other person – make a difference to the way we feel about ourselves? Do we have a choice? Can we learn to respond in a different way? It is very easy when face

I’m waiting to pay at the supermarket check-out. I can feel the guy behind me’s breath on the back of my neck. From time to time the...

I like a good metaphor and I came across a great one the other day. On my holidays a tour guide was apologising for not being able to...

Are you still living your life according to a ‘script’ or set of rules about how to be in the world that you first put together when you were four-years-old? Theories of Transactional Analysis (developed by Eric Berne) suggest that many of us are.   I find this theory can be particularly useful in helping people break patterns of behaviour that might be puzzling, distressing or simply out of awareness. For example, if you worked out as a young child that showing your anger t

For me, counselling is about change . You might consider visiting a therapist when you are feeling uncomfortable or distressed about some aspect of your life. Together, you and your therapist will explore what's going on and consider options for making changes to the way you respond to certain situations and feelings. I work with the 'what' and the 'how' of the story that you might bring to counselling. The 'what' might be the facts (or perceived facts) of your life - what h

I aim to post short articles about the counselling process roughly once a month. I will examine established theory and some of my own...