In my last post about conflict between parents and adult children I introduced the concept of identifying and changing the power dynamic within the relationship. When children are young, parents tend to have all or most of the power – they are in charge. As children become adults, this power…
Relationships are difficult. How we balance two or more people’s needs so that everyone gets enough of what they want most of the time is invariably a tricky business. Sometimes this game of compromise will break down completely and we are left with conflict, hurt feelings or – ultimately –…
What does it mean to be empathic? How can we use this way of being with others to resolve conflict and promote understanding whilst at the same time keeping ourselves emotionally safe? If too much or not enough empathy is a problem for us, how might counselling and psychotherapy help?
Many couples struggle to find a way to communicate effectively. Without a solid platform from which to discuss tricky subjects safely and productively we may flounder around feeling unhappy, angry and stuck. There might be rows, silences and slammed doors but no matter how much energy is expended nothing changes;…
Could black and white thinking be hindering you from making friends, forging a career or finding a life partner? Many of us can get stuck in an old pattern of behaviour where a relationship or situation is seen as either all good or all bad and something that starts well…
How we deal with loss is fundamental to our mental and emotional well-being. Hopefully, we will have learnt that our connections to other people – family and friends – can help us make loss more bearable. But what happens if as children we are left to cope with a major…
Many of us struggle to find the right balance of assertiveness in relationship with a partner, family members, friends or at work. Something is getting in the way of being able to firmly state our own needs, negotiate with others and reach a compromise that is satisfactory for all. How…
A common problem brought to therapy is bewilderment as to why friends and potential romantic partners repeatedly leave us. Often, there is a clear pattern of new relationships going well for a time and then we suddenly get a sense of having been dropped. How can psychotherapy and counselling help?
We all have times in our lives when we are lonely. Feeling cut off from the support and companionship of others can be a huge source of stress. In my experience of helping people combat anxiety and depression, prolonged periods of loneliness not only contribute to poor mental health but…
As human beings we all have needs and wants (for love, attention and so on) and have likely worked out a strategy for the best way to have these needs met. Sometimes, a strategy that worked tolerably well in the past begins to work against us and we are left…
