Choosing a good counsellor or psychotherapist can be a daunting task. How do you know when you have found the right one for you? What factors can you look out for when you first meet? And what about after the first few weeks of working together?
Recently, I had a call from someone looking for a counsellor. They asked me two perfectly reasonable questions – “How do you work? And what do you actually do?” These are tricky questions to answer since the kind of narrative therapy I offer is not so much about what I…
In 1968, Stephen Karpman first referred to the Drama Triangle model as a means of describing and analysing human interaction. Karpman’s ideas often prove useful in helping us identify the roles we ourselves play when stuck in unhelpful repeating patterns of communication with others – and how to step out of those roles.
Perhaps you know someone who is going through a tough time. You’re worried about them and think they could do with some support. You want to help but when you try to talk to them they get angry and upset and it only seems to make matters worse. What can…
Shame. There, I said it. Shame feels horrible. I think of a hot, creeping sensation that sweeps over the body, starting in the face and travelling rapidly down to the stomach – where it stays. It’s a feeling of having been exposed and found wanting when measured against our own or somebody else’s idea of a…
When we are feeling vulnerable, a bit wobbly and everything seems to be going wrong at once a good dose of kindness can go a long way to help calm us down. Once we’re feeling less anxious, it becomes much easier to think straight and actually tackle what it is that…
If you were to approach me for help with the way you express your anger, I would assume you already know that your relationships and career are suffering – and that if the solution were as simple as learning to limit your anger you would have done so already. I work in a relational way. This means that rather than trying to make troublesome…
Ever find yourself thinking ‘I have no choice’ or ‘I couldn’t say no’? These are phrases I hear very frequently when people talk to me about what is going wrong in their lives. It is common to feel manoeuvred into a corner by a situation and that there is only one, or at best perhaps…
When we are going through a difficult time in our lives we often turn to those closest to us for comfort and advice. Talking to friends and family can help us make sense of what is happening in our world and give us much-needed support. What can we do to make it…
Authenticity is a term that is often bandied around by counsellors and psychotherapists as something worth having. But just what does it mean in the context of counselling and psychotherapy and what are the implications of trying to get it? For me, authenticity involves being true to one’s own beliefs,…
