When somebody in a family begins to have a problem – e.g. an eating disorder, unexplained illness or difficulty leaving home – it is very easy for everyone else involved to pin the blame on this one person. They are the ones who “should pull themselves together,” or “stop upsetting…
Nobody wants to stay feeling stuck, sad, angry or confused. All we want is for these feelings to be magicked away – hopefully never to return. Rather than banish troublesome feelings, good counselling or psychotherapy helps us to understand where these feelings are coming from and sheds light on new…
In 1968, Stephen Karpman first referred to the Drama Triangle model as a means of describing and analysing human interaction. Karpman’s ideas often prove useful in helping us identify the roles we ourselves play when stuck in unhelpful repeating patterns of communication with others – and how to step out of those roles.
Metaphors often prove to be a very useful tool when trying to find out what is going on in someone’s life and how best to help. People who come to me for therapy might describe a tangled mess of emotions or a feeling of carrying a heavy weight on their shoulders. But what…
Attachment theory is an attempt to explain differences in the dynamics of long-term human relationships based on how an infant connects on an emotional level to a primary caregiver – usually its mother. The theory was first developed by John Bowlby, a British psychologist and
You’ve signed up for some sessions with a psychotherapist or counsellor. You’re committing your time, energy and hard-earned cash. You’ve even been warned that the road ahead often gets tricky here and there. How can you be sure that this slippery-sounding process is going to work?
People coming for counselling at my practice in Brighton often ask me for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Perhaps they have read about CBT in the press or it has been mentioned to them by their GP. CBT is one of many approaches to counselling, rather than a separate form. I adopt…
When choosing a therapist in the UK, how do you know if that person is properly qualified? I realised the other day that no-one coming to see me for counselling or psychotherapy has ever asked to see proof of my qualifications.
If, as children, we felt repeatedly hurt, humiliated, abandoned, suffocated or ignored by someone close to us and on whom we depended for survival (usually a parent), we might have made the perfectly logical decision – at least from a four-year-old’s point of view – to keep other people at bay.
I have come across numerous contradictory answers to this question. It appears that the definition of each term depends upon whom you ask. In my view, there is one fundamental difference between the two processes, together with lots of cross-over. This essential difference is sometimes tricky to grasp and even…
