Acknowledging that our behavior has hurt someone’s feelings and taking responsibility for our own part in a situation can be a very powerful way of healing rifts, cementing relationships and preventing resentment from building up. What might we aim for when saying sorry?
We’ve all encountered people who do a lot. Or perhaps we like to be doing ourselves? People who do stuff are useful to have around as they are excellent at getting things done! However, there often comes a point when a limit is reached and doing tips into over-doing. How…
Throughout our lives we will all receive messages from other people about who we are and what we are like. Such information will have a major impact on the way we feel about ourselves. Positive messages will build our confidence whereas other, less favourable ones, might help us to regulate…
Most families have secrets of some sort. Unwelcome truths are withheld, lies might be told and the burden of information that must not be shared is carried around. Often, as a result, trust is eroded and relationships falter. The weight of keeping such secrets – or a sense that something…
Whenever I hear a person labeling someone else an ‘Attention Seeker’, there is always something in their tone of voice or manner which suggests judgement – a sneer, a rolling of the eyes, a sigh of exasperation. Apparently, to seek attention from others is not a good thing. It is,…
Did you grow up in a household where one of the rules was to accept the word of those in authority without question? People who have difficulty asserting themselves in adulthood have often had this experience and it can lead to serious consequences for the way they approach life and…
A recurring theme when working with communication difficulties is how to find common ground when one person approaches life’s challenges in a very logical, thinking way and the other is much more inclined to focus on relationships and feelings. How might counselling or psychotherapy help?
What happens to us when we are repeatedly ‘not heard’ by important others? From a child’s perspective, I can imagine feeling misunderstood, unseen, dismissed and – eventually – angry. In adulthood, there might then be a danger that this old anger may get in the way of us feeling heard…
An old friend of mine had a habit of marching into my home and making the tea whenever she came to visit. Without so much as a by-your-leave, she would rifle through my kitchen cupboards while I stood in the doorway privately fuming.
I frequently come across examples of how unprocessed feelings associated with a distressing event or circumstances are passed down through the generations causing pain and confusion long after the actual trauma is over. Often, we might be unaware that we have been (usually unwittingly) handed a negative experience of the…
