Throughout our lives we will all receive messages from other people about who we are and what we are like. Such information will have a major impact on the way we feel about ourselves. Positive messages will build our confidence whereas other, less favourable ones, might help us to regulate…
Did you grow up in a household where one of the rules was to accept the word of those in authority without question? People who have difficulty asserting themselves in adulthood have often had this experience and it can lead to serious consequences for the way they approach life and…
A recurring theme when working with communication difficulties is how to find common ground when one person approaches life’s challenges in a very logical, thinking way and the other is much more inclined to focus on relationships and feelings. How might counselling or psychotherapy help?
An old friend of mine had a habit of marching into my home and making the tea whenever she came to visit. Without so much as a by-your-leave, she would rifle through my kitchen cupboards while I stood in the doorway privately fuming.
I often work with people who come for help dealing with a ‘difficult’ mother. Many find themselves stuck in an unsatisfactory relationship with their mother and although they might feel a close connection to her – often involving strong feelings – it is not the kind of close connection that…
‘How To Talk To A Defensive Person’ (15th February 2014) has proved to be the most popular post on this blog. Finding a way to have important conversations with someone who fends off all advances appears to be a subject which touches hearts and minds across all cultures; it’s not…
In counselling and psychotherapy, we have the opportunity to ‘tell our story’ to someone who is able to hear it; someone who can help us think about it in new ways and support us while we are doing so. But what about outside the consulting room? What else can we do…
Recently, I had a call from someone looking for a counsellor. They asked me two perfectly reasonable questions – “How do you work? And what do you actually do?” These are tricky questions to answer since the kind of narrative therapy I offer is not so much about what I…
In 1968, Stephen Karpman first referred to the Drama Triangle model as a means of describing and analysing human interaction. Karpman’s ideas often prove useful in helping us identify the roles we ourselves play when stuck in unhelpful repeating patterns of communication with others – and how to step out of those roles.
Perhaps you know someone who is going through a tough time. You’re worried about them and think they could do with some support. You want to help but when you try to talk to them they get angry and upset and it only seems to make matters worse. What can…
