What happens to us when we are repeatedly ‘not heard’ by important others? From a child’s perspective, I can imagine feeling misunderstood, unseen, dismissed and – eventually – angry. In adulthood, there might then be a danger that this old anger may get in the way of us feeling heard…
When something is going wrong in an important relationship (whether it be between a couple, parents and adult children, siblings or friends), is counselling together usually the best way to tackle the problem? Or, would individual counselling be more beneficial?
In 1968, Stephen Karpman first referred to the Drama Triangle model as a means of describing and analysing human interaction. Karpman’s ideas often prove useful in helping us identify the roles we ourselves play when stuck in unhelpful repeating patterns of communication with others – and how to step out of those roles.
Perhaps you know someone who is going through a tough time. You’re worried about them and think they could do with some support. You want to help but when you try to talk to them they get angry and upset and it only seems to make matters worse. What can…
Shame. There, I said it. Shame feels horrible. I think of a hot, creeping sensation that sweeps over the body, starting in the face and travelling rapidly down to the stomach – where it stays. It’s a feeling of having been exposed and found wanting when measured against our own or somebody else’s idea of a…
I’ve realised that I’ve been avoiding writing an article about avoiding conflict. I mentioned writing about this subject months ago (see my post of 1st February 2013 – ‘Conflict, Part 1 – Winning At All Costs’) but somehow haven’t got around to actually sitting down and doing it. I wonder why…
In this article I aim to give you an overview of what to expect when you come to me for relationship counselling in Brighton and Hove. All counsellors and psychotherapists have their own unique way of working and whatever their approach, it will suit some people and not others. I…
Ever thought to yourself as you argue with your partner – “here we go again, same old, same old”? Perhaps you’ve got stuck in a downward spiral of hurt, blame, anger and frustration. And then it will be all right for a while until the whole thing starts up again.…
If, as children, we felt repeatedly hurt, humiliated, abandoned, suffocated or ignored by someone close to us and on whom we depended for survival (usually a parent), we might have made the perfectly logical decision – at least from a four-year-old’s point of view – to keep other people at bay.
