Most families have secrets of some sort. Unwelcome truths are withheld, lies might be told and the burden of information that must not be shared is carried around. Often, as a result, trust is eroded and relationships falter. The weight of keeping such secrets – or a sense that something…
Whenever I hear a person labeling someone else an ‘Attention Seeker’, there is always something in their tone of voice or manner which suggests judgement – a sneer, a rolling of the eyes, a sigh of exasperation. Apparently, to seek attention from others is not a good thing. It is,…
Did you grow up in a household where one of the rules was to accept the word of those in authority without question? People who have difficulty asserting themselves in adulthood have often had this experience and it can lead to serious consequences for the way they approach life and…
A recurring theme when working with communication difficulties is how to find common ground when one person approaches life’s challenges in a very logical, thinking way and the other is much more inclined to focus on relationships and feelings. How might counselling or psychotherapy help?
What happens to us when we are repeatedly ‘not heard’ by important others? From a child’s perspective, I can imagine feeling misunderstood, unseen, dismissed and – eventually – angry. In adulthood, there might then be a danger that this old anger may get in the way of us feeling heard…
“But when one does not complain, and when one wants to master oneself with a tyrant’s grip — one’s faculties rise in revolt — and one pays for outward calm with an almost unbearable inner struggle.” Letter from Charlotte Brontë to Professor Constantin Heger, 1845.
We all know that we are born, that we live – and then we die. Mostly, we manage to deal with the fact that we are mortal and get on with the business of living. However, sometimes we can become preoccupied with a fear of death or anxiety about dying…
Compulsive behaviour can range from a need to have the tins in your food cupboard lined up in a neat row with the labels all facing the same way to full blown Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In my experience, compulsive behaviour is often a strategy a person has found to…
An old friend of mine had a habit of marching into my home and making the tea whenever she came to visit. Without so much as a by-your-leave, she would rifle through my kitchen cupboards while I stood in the doorway privately fuming.
I frequently come across examples of how unprocessed feelings associated with a distressing event or circumstances are passed down through the generations causing pain and confusion long after the actual trauma is over. Often, we might be unaware that we have been (usually unwittingly) handed a negative experience of the…
